Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Jagadeka Veeruni Katha -- Shiva Sankari

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX17lXOq7mU

Can't in truth stones be melt with that performance ? Is it not near to impossibility than reality ?
Can it get better ? Can i not be proud of being a Telugu ? Can i restrain from being boast about born in India.
Ah! come on ppl, they say i exaggerate things and i over appreciate things. But this appreciation, does it even come ANY close to what it deserves ? Can anybody deny what i said, let him be from different land, different language, or even different aa.. what ever...! Ah! Who can beat him.. :-?

Imagine NTR's performance played on a screen, will there be an atomic flutter? Will a single Telugu viewer afford to wink ? Imagine Ghantashala singing a normal song in his normal frequency, will any connoisseur of music make a move away ? What if Ghantashala singing at his best on a best composed song ? And say NTR's performance is added to that ? And lets say 5 Ghantashala's voice played together with 5 NTRs appearing on the screen giving 5 different but invariably best performances !

Ah! invaluable, brilliant!! just perfect. No, a little better than that.. sorry, lot better than that. let me bet, who can contradict that !! Neways, let me stop there. Less is more! I have n't even started on it, let me find some free time to do that later.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

On fire ! :D

I completed 2 books, though small i did complete 2 of them in this week, apart from work hours and my ever lasting long sleeping hours.

One was Swami Vivekananda's Address at Chicago, very small one, hardly 20-30 pages one. And the second one - [T]alkative [M]an by R.K.Narayan.

The two are totally diverse.

I need to be a better person to comment on the former. In simple terms Inspiring, Glorious & Splendid.

And the second one was very much different. Indeed, it was. It was definitely in its style. Just simple, and time-killing one. Though the first half was not so interesting, (in fact, boring i can say), the second half was pretty interesting, holding the reader to the chair till the end. Post script was a special trick attempted by RK, to bind his readers to himself further. It made me laugh out on a few incidents and keeping the smile almost till the end. He has definitely succeeded in convincing that he had been to Malgudi, while i was on TM. Still i don't commit that, the book was impressive.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Matrix has you !

Matrix.. its definitely the best movie ever pictured, in my notion. I wont talk about it now, because I feel like repeating when I talk about it next time and after that and after that…and I don’t like repeating things. But it’s relevance to the reality is amazing, whose roots, am proud to say, begin from Hindu philosophy. Of course, its been felt by many of the human species. Honestly, the movie can only show u the doors, u have to walk thru it to feel the actual facts behind it.

Any ways, actually what making me reflect about this is the question that my lead/companion accidentally asked me. Do you believe in some X god. My immediate answer was ‘No, I don’t believe in God.’ He was in a way not pleased to hear that and said ‘oh! You don’t believe in God itself ?’. Though shiva said, “its ok, ur choice”, I could sense that he felt “it was bad”. :)
However just after cutting the call, I began to wonder do I really not belive in God ? If not, then why would I care to use ‘G’ instead of ‘g’ every time I spell God ! so, Do I really believe in God ? if yes, why would I worry about so many things, when its by definition that the Almighty is the creator and he is the reason, process and effect of every thing ! Don’t I respect God? Then why would I respect Vivekananda so much, (the most as of now), whose sole(!?) goal in life had been realizing God. Do I respect God ? When I am not clear on if I believe in Him or not, it doesn’t make any sense to talk about it. After all, these are all the complications that he has awarded. Has he? :) Of course, as Pranav quoted insightfully, clarity is the key. However, I am happy with my policy that, live and let live. I am never against the people who *purely* believe in God.

These all things have occurred, because of my probing Shiva on the matter of “offering vishwarupa darshan in Moon” by somebody, which was just the repetition of the same that happened last year (yea, I heard identical incident happened last year on the same issue), whose result was obviously invariant. I am feeling a bit like screen playing Memento movie, after composing this post. Anyways, its time I get back to work..

Friday, September 28, 2007

Trip to Hup.

After seeing my last post adding this. Seriously awesome experience its been. very good, very good. India got the world cup at last !!

Its time, am leaving for the day.. for the week too. After a long time, 4 days of holidays in a row come(of course i an spending 1 casual leave for that).

Today have added the video to my blog, but thats not how, I really wanted it to look, when played. Anyways..some thing is better than nothing naa..

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hu ha india ! Aaya india !!!

Those were the moments indian cricket was loosing fans like me. Those were the times, the best of the batsmen in the team were beginning to be called "old"(or senior to make it less intense). Those were the moments Sachin could not find a place in team !!! (truley rediculous and showes how brainy indians can b at times, Ah! ofcourse, i am a deadly fan of his).

But !! ... The story begins to change as indians begin to change their attitude, and give their best out. And yesterday, Yuvi made me become his fan once more. He just proved how self-respecting indians are, just after recent similar incident by Ganguly against Broad's innocent attempt to sledge (which in turn bombed on Broad's own face). Poor Broad retains to be at the receiving end again. And he becomes the recipent of the "BIG-blows" from Yuvi, for Flintoff's MISTAKE, who evidently regrets after each of the six sixes in a row in Broad's over.

Waaw, really Woow. Who fucking cares, it was whooow. What a performance, what a timing, what a skill, what a show ! Yuvi was almost as good as Sachin :D. Thanks to barber shops and road side hotels with TVs, who never hinder the unrestraint croud to peep into. And you can never be want of company in a country like india, when the occassions(truely they are, otherwise, why would Murali Subramanian, GVP, would find a moment to mention it in EBiz meet) like cricket matches hap. Outspoken, lovingly cursing, cursingly cheerful, pessimistically optimistic (believe me there are many more ppl like me who earnestly look forward for a win even if 7 needed on last ball) croud it is. Ha ! having mentioned all that, now the anxiety begins as in a few minutes, the next deciding match for india is gonna begin. However, who cares india wins or looses, its the await that we taste which at last matters. of course, Journey is the one which is the more tasty part, right ?

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Wings of Fire

http://server1.msn.co.in/sp07/abdulkalam/index.asp

This has been the best link I have come across till to date. And easily its the best page I have visited since my first encounter with a web page. And am thankful from my bottom of the heart to those who evidently made this earnestly and fruitfully.

Right now an unknown feeling fills my heart. Partly satisfying, partly dissatisfying, partly peacefulness still having good place for disturbance. As such, dont know the exact reasons for any one of these. Needless to mention, it only increased my reverence towards Dr. Khalam multiple folds.

And his self-motivation, dedication and determination towards his chosen goal, in spite of the untimely deaths of his parents and family members, are astounding and inspiring. His evident modesty and respect towards his superiors as well as subordinates are some remarkable points I loved the best. His meeting with Shivananda was the incident I tasted the most in his autobiography next to his moral feelings for his parents and his reaction at their expiries. If everybody thinks as broad and plain as Dr. APJ Abdul Khalam beyond the narrow minded gaps between casts, religions and nations, there would not have been these inhuman recent bomb blasts took place in Hyderabad and there would never have been such many more incidents which are unfortunately becoming mundane and insignificant. My heart went out like it never happened before on the day I read the paper on that day. And I could n't help myself to complete one column of that paper out of its lament nature. And like it never happened before my heart melt to see a mail regarding the great Javan Lt. Saurabh Kalia and his team of 5 others who will always receive my at most respect and salutes from the bottom of my heart.... I understood their greatness, by realizing my incapability and smallness just to read the humiliations they have undergone. I hope, at least a handful of my frenz could get a chance to read the mail if not forward it to let the other Indians know, what is going at LOC to our protectors. And I fear, if all these are happening for a reason! Ah!!.. finally I realize my limitations.. Hff! neways.. my curse skinned boon of forgetfulness helps sooth most of these, but only most of these.

Anyways.. I am only glad that, there have been people who have time to make such invaluble material accessible to all the internet users. And I thank them plainly. Glad that, I happen to be on OM's buddy list of Ajith.

Finally some strange/interesting things about APJ:

Kalam begins his day by reading from the Bhagwad Gita
Kalam is leading a remarkable ascetic life
He works for about 18 hours each day
He plays the Rudra Veena
Took leave just twice, when his parents died
He is a self-confessed Ram Bhakt
Reputedly suspicious of colleagues who tried to befriend him

Thursday, August 30, 2007

my dear

yea, am definitely gifted. But not all can see them as gifts. just for example, u can say forgetfulness, indifference et al. I was reminded of the blog i was owning, and wanted to cheer it, to retain its companionship. already beginning to feel a little strange/wired being here. so am back to my dear blog. basically these days learned to work for 8-9 hrs on weekdays, and spending restless weekends.. so, if i think back, they seem to be the main reasons for me not finding opportunity to blog.. hopefully i will find time to note my experiences and thoughts here again.. letz see how it goes(my motto).

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Incredible stupid laws

http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/international/

just to give u a vague idea :
Canada:
--If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.
--When raining, a person may not water his/her lawn.
--It's illegal to climb trees.
--A purple door get you a fine.

Readers have fun!! and go thru other countries as well. Really funny.
not worth pretermitting. :LOL

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Life @work.

Right now, am not feeling like going ahead writing, still have decided to do so. most often that happens with me, never mind.

okie, okie!.. Who said, work life sucks! Who said, work life is a slave life! who said mentors at office are tormentors!! And who said, manager are your bosses!! And I also had many not-so-positive comments about the work life, from seniors and super seniors. However glad that, they are not working in the way, i learnt.

My lead is an awesome guy, who is definitely very sensible and always approachable, and who "strongly" suggests not to come on weekends to office. I barely see him as my lead. He sounds more of a companion to me rather than a superior. And always owns a joke when the things do not really go in our way. And my boss, who is often called Mr. Brains, though his actual spelling varies a little, by the other intelligent crew. Hezz is gem of a guy. Though haven't got a chance to meet him yet. And have never heard any boss-like stuff from him till to moment. That only shows his maturity and temperament apart from his technical knowledge. And it all only motivates to learn faster and work better. And the only bad thing occurred of late is that, one of the most valuable candidates of the team, and the only [senior] person in my module has decided to switch to another team leaving the lone candidate in the team. And therefore increasing the responsibility and possibly work-load exponentially. Which of course, also gave me a chance to be an interviewer with in 5 months of my joining under fresher recognition.

Apart from this stuff, there have been a few funny things happening in the casual workdays.
Lately a guy has been seated in the cubical besides mine. [hope he is not reading this !]. And he has this 'habit' that when ever he stands up he peeps into my monitor. And i was least bothered about it, in spite of my frequent visits to orkut and youtube. And one day he was staring constantly. So I looked at him in a way posing "So, what now ?". He smiled, and passed his hand, saying "Hi, am ******". I understood then that he was waiting for an intro, all these days. [I thought, 'come on man, you must have told that on the first day. Am not sitting hear reading minds of ppl!'] But i also learnt that he was a newly joined Product Manager !! And from that day, he looks at me waiting for a 'Hi', but some how, i like going pretending unnoticed.

And another incident included, where I got an internal e-mail with several senior managers in CC asking for an "urgent" help on an issue about some data loading, as they felt I was expert at dealing with such issues. And god knows, why they thought so. As I did not understand a single line from that mail, except that they were addressing me and the issue was Yama urgent one. And for a few minutes, I didn't know how to react on that. And soon my lead clarified that, it was a mistake, after which they started addressing the issue to my lead. And then my manager had to interfere and convince them, we are not the right ppl.

And then on one day, got a call. There was no his or hellos, just started off explaining the bug hizz got, with whole new technical jargon[hope his team's]. And said finally "I hope thats ok with you, call me if any problems", and was about to hang up the phone. I was like Daa!! Dood, what is with you! And i said "Hello, i am sorry, i am not sure if you are addressing the right person !!, as honestly, I did not understood a word of what you said just now!!". He asked puzzled, "Isnt this Abhishek". No dood, this is Aamir!, wanted to say, by when he apologized and cut the line.

And others included such as, when we assign a P1 bug on friday noon to some internal team, which is obviously the least desired, should watch their struggle to convince the bug raisers that its "Not a bug" actually[else, it might end up pulling you to office on the weekend]. That is a real fun scene, if you are not on the receiving end. And my dear new joinee, also entertains almost 2-3 cubicals around, by talking on phone so loudly and funnyly[definitely not to the guy on the receiving end], bashing away the airtel connection providing personnel.

However the work gets hectic soon I realize. the work load must have increased exponentially by now, however my lead is screening me time to time from them. I earnestly like to thank him, however he doesn't take it seriously and pushes on things. I am pretty confident that, he doesn't have time to read all this leaving me freely write my thoughts out. And would like to thank the anonymous reader who left a warning comment with the analysis of otherwise-unnoticed figures, which definitely fetched the needed time.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Go Plus !



I should say, it was one of the excellent experinces I have had till to date. And I don’t know if I have learnt any of the values of the company, which the trip was intended to teach, but have leant quite a bit of in terms of values of life. It was a trip for 28 employees, out of which only 24 turned up. And the best point was that, hardly any one knew the rest of the crew. And in my case, I knew only 2 ppl by their faces, and was as close as returning a smyle or a hi when treated with either.

And when I started, though my teammate looked so eager to explain me about the fun she had, and out of my nature I was just indifferent to the openions. However, once I was back, I looked overexcited as I could judge from their looks.
Starting from, sharing the seat when started towards Lahari Resorts, till the moment got down at Madhapur from auto was a memorable moment. And must thank my company for having arranged such a lovely trip. And there is one more thing, which owes thanks the most. It’s the weather. Weather had been simply awesome throuout the 2 days and 2 nights, without which it would have never been the same.

In 2 days, we had a chapter of life I can offord to say. May be it’s a little exaggerating, but it was almost as hell of an experience as it was.

I did not really learnt what they actually wanted to teach, I did not really participate in the way they intended while coming up with the events they conducted, I did not really wanted to win in any of the games/events in which I participated with atmost curiosity (which I realize only now, as there was no place for thinking about these), I did not really recall the tough week I was going to have on the coming week, which am enjoying (!!) now. I just participated. I was just being an active team member all the while (though, had to lead the entire group in an event, at the end of which I had received cordial hugs from the totally new pals, which were selfless, unbiased and the best part, no place for egos, out of the fun they found from words and acts of mine).

There was this swimming pool always welcoming us so warmly, despite of the busy days and rainy cold nights we had, that I definitely cherish to remember a long while. Rain dance floor was no exception. It was in a way great to have no aquaintance on such a trip. I was open, open and in fact open. It was one of those extrovertic days, where no place or time to think about self and was just busy get going. There were no rights nor responsibilities, just a plain, busy and fun filled 2 complete days. Ofcourse, there were rewards, cheers and lessons as well. And was complimented “The super man” by the trainer who excels in paragliding, swimming, surfing, mountain climbing and 12 such adventures in total. And if the god had appeared and offered me a boon on any moment during those 2 days, I would have pleaded him earnestly for a life like the one Nevil is leading. And could learn to swim (if I can call so), about 40-45 feet (holding the breath :D) in 2-3 hrs of swimming with informal trainees by the side, which were again the fellow trippers. And loved participating in C/D game which was the only indoor game(kinda gambling game), I felt as not senseless. And at the end of all the events our team was recognized as the most creative (out of 4 teams they formed out of 24 people). And was one of the 9-10 people recognized as the most actively participated folks. [Honestly speaking, I was surprised, to know that the trainees noted that a person like me existed during the 2 days. Good, good.]

And finally, while coming back, we had no time to waste. I was one of the most actively participated Ahthyaksharist. ;), Which was totally of not my kind. And one or two northies couldn’t restrain to admire me at the end of the event, for my choice of songs and ofcourse voice in choosing the enegetic and fun filled “Telugu” songs, whom I still retain on my orkut on buddies list.

Luxurious rooms with 25”(I suppose) lcd Samsung TVs, gratuitous to mention air conditioned are worth mentioning. And may be the comfart they offered was the reason for my being one of latest guyz to reach the venue either it was Yoga or was any senseless indoor game they conducted..


On the whole, it was a one sweet memory. And one unrythamic heart beat worth taking place on my blog.


GG guyz and galz(iiit slang, cant help)… keep rocking where ever you are!! 3 cheers to GO+ comrades. :))

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Friend"ship"

It is always said that, the greatest of the stories have evolved from the pens of writers who have seen places, and who have crossed oceans and who have been to different countries and cultures. yes, ofcourse, who can deny that!
But, what if a normal and partially educated person sits back in his room, and lets his thoughts go places and cross countries and look into the (imaginary)minds of people he encounters and writes a story..
Gratuitous to mention, this story's complication & length obviates the fact that, its purely imaginary and the charecters are imaginary and the conversations that go among them are so as well. It just deals with the mindsets and thinking process of various kinds of charecters in this story. Just for an idea, its kinda serious story, rather than funfilled and comedy oriented. If accidentally you find a situation or two from ur lives, juss enjoy it rather than thinking ahead from it. And dont like
to spoil the beauty of it by giving any more clue of it. And here it goes....
(Caption of the story -- "Not all stories are alike")

An old man who seems to be in his late 80s, laying down a big tree, which seems to have lost half of its leaves already, with his arms under his head, relaxing and thinking about some thing very deeply. And he observes two doves coming from nowhere flying and sitting right above head on a branch of the same tree. And the old man's concentration turns towards them. And begins to think, "They seem to enjoy each other's company definately, but are they life partners ? or are they lovers, or are they friends !! ? Friends ? :)

hmff, Friends ??" giggles a little to himself and stands up with hands put in his pocket, and starts walking deep into the woods of the wild garden...

And his only grandchild jim, who is already 7 comes running to the oldman, with another kid by his side. the old man, asks him, "how come u r here, have no classes today ?!"
"hey grandpa, its sunday, and cant go school on sundays too." hehe.

old man thinks "ah, i think i am already old enough to loose count on days. :)".
And says to kid "hey, you havent introduced ur companion to me!",
jim: "oh yea, sorry. he is Tedd, my best friend. i mean he is the closest of my friends."
old man: "Great. Nice meeting you buddy.. Tedd, how u doing ?"
Tedd: "I am great, hey can you be one of us from today. we can make a great team hehe :). what say.."
old man: "Sounds great, why not, i would love to".

Said that, Tedd looked at old man's eyes in a manner, that disturbed the old man, may b reminding of some thing or somebody... And Jim and Tedd move away, laughing and cutting silly jokes to each other..
But the old man begins to wonder "what made Tedd read him, and calling him "pal", and say "one of us". In juss two words I spoke to him, he could already make a huge impression on me. And does he really know the meaning of a friend at the age of 7 ? Every word he spoke to me showed that he has understood what frenship is more than what I have understood in these 83 years.. :) Beautiful..".

But realizes, Tedd has triggered a stream of thoughts in his mind about his past. Immediately the old man says to himself "Ahh, come on, you havent changed a little in all these years. comeon, grow up! dont think too much about life, dont you remember what ur teacher taught once ? the only way to be happy in life is, by not thinking too much about it?".
And feels tired juss after walking 100 feet and rests under another tree which had too many leaves as the old man feels. And tries to relax by sitting against the tree with his head up and eyes closed... And his thoughts, take him back to his youth, reminding him of what he was 60 years back.....

Its 1997. An young man, named Fidelio Graziano starts from a small city in Italy, to continue his further studies in Canada. The smyle on his face showed that, he is definately satisfied with his achievement on having secured a seat in such an honorable and prestigious university in Canada.

Fidelio was a man, who had good philosophical thinking and heart to accept other's philosophy easily. He was a man, who believed there is nothing wrong in taking a shortcut, to avoid others getting hurt. He was a soft natured person, who was not really perticular about winning a race. Fidelio had a heart to condone any mistakes done to or by him without much thought. Fidelio did not like going for severe thoughts or actions when there was a smoother path. His philosophy was, just think and act simple which would suffice the need. Fidelio also belived, his logical thinking and his ability to tackle problems is gonna take him places. And he always believed in himself, though did not really looked like one. He was a person who could attract any connoisseur of music with his guitar. And he was a guy who never frowned at anything, even if he did not like it.

Fidelio came from a city, which had handful of decently good educational institues. But Fidelio wanted to roam places and learn cultures. He was the only son to his parents, who actually wanted their only son to stay back with them. Though, Fidelio did not like leaving them either, he knew he would get back to them as a better person soon, which would make them forget the pain they are undergoing now.
Fidelio leaves towards his goals.

Interestingly the same day, same time, from a different geographical location, another young mind started towards the same educational institute with similar academic profile.
Ironically, he did not give much thought to his achievement, still remembering his ability, which is taking him there. He was never worried about his profile, achievements or his future. "His thoughts were beyond one could judge from his face and talking". He was a guy who looked very jovial but very tough at heart. Most of the time he kept himself and his companions cool and cheerful. He was a guy who was modest but not condoning any mistakes easily. He did not admire any thing so easily, but once he does, he appriciates it, loves it, and does not hesitate to give a chunk of his heart cutting it, if needed. He hated commiting mistakes the most, but was always ready to learn from them and rectify and go ahead. He did not know speaking soft, he only spoke straight. The last thing he would do is hurting others, but he doesnt hesitate to frown, if he finds wrong act from them. He always belived in individuality and independence, but was alwasys ready to help others with positive openion about them. He knew his abilities and drawbacks, and so could avoid many situations which would lead others to point his wrongs. In summary, he was a man who couldnt play two faces, and hated receiving that. He could appriciate somebody who hated him and said so, than somebody who admired on face but did not actually cordially.

He spent all his life in a small village in France, where his parents had come and settled years ago, and where he was born and brought up. His parents accompanied him to the airport to send their only son Andre off.. His father's tough mind and his mothers soft heart and his past experience

with companions and school buddies have taught Andre alot in his life. Andre calmly beckons with a stiff smyle on his face and winking at his father, getting the same in return, and left towards his future...

And the college days began...

Fidelio concentrated on his studies, and found himself very happy for his progress in academics, and began to enjoy his studies. And out of his soft nature, people admired him as a good person. But he was not really considered a good friend by many as he was too soft to be a guy among young men oozing with energies. Fidelio never hesitated to share his sad or happy moments with others, as he felt after all thats what are frenz for. And ofcourse always welcomed others sharings. He could get a set of frenz with like mentality and was happy with his group. He was already becoming famous in the college for his guitar. However, he could also get people who envied him for his talent with guitar. However he sensed that there was nobody who actually admired him to the level he expected or deserved.

Andre Francois began his funfilled and joyous life. He was really happy that he was being independent and still could get many good frenz at the college. As his nature drived him, he did not expect any thing from others and felt he owed nothing to anybody either. But always ready to help on a request. Some people began to see him as a swellhead as Andre did not belive in talking softly, and some liked him for his unique nature and some others who did not think too much about him, felt he was
juss being himself, and were not bothered much. But Andre was a guy who did not really care about others thoughts and openions, and considered silly even to consider on considering such things.. He always sticked to his will and way. Out of his cheerful nature everybody looked to be enjoying his company.

The time passed, and students were getting involved into the schedules of classes and events.

Everybody was enjoing their lives. Every thing was going great. But as its the nature's nature... that, change is the only thing that is constant. And that was inevitable. !! ..!!

The college football competitions were about to begin. The matches were conducted rarely by the institute. So they were considred precious. And the college had 5 football teams, out of which only three were upto the mark. And the rest two were, always out of competitions, precisely nonstarters. And with the new batch in, there were minor changes in all the teams. Andre Francois happened to fall in one of the two, not so good performing teams. and Fidelio Graziano happened to fall in the defending champion's group, who were the hot favourites this time as well. The match between hot favs, and the under estimated began. From the very beginning of the match, out of Andre's and his newly built group's dominating nature, they showed agression. Though, the first half was over, neither team could score a goal. And the heat began to increase in both the teams.

Andre's team knew they were going to win the match if they continue the same spirits. However, Fidelio's team was confident that they can easily handle their supposedly weak opponent. However, there was a splinter of doubt in Fidelio's mind that, it might get tougher. And somehow, Andre's presence in the opposite team disturbed him, though this was the first time he saw him.

And the whistle signalled second half's begin. The audience were applauding and were also anxious what the end would be.
Andre's team began to show how dominant they could be, they scored the first goal in the 7th min of the second half.

And for the first time, Fidelio's team began to consider the other side of the coin. Fidelio did not want to loose so easily, so with the gut feeling of his ability, he started running towards the ball and grabbed it from opponent's captain and started going towards the goal... And he was not even half way thru towards the goalpost, suddenly some guy with lightning speed came from nowhere and took the ball over and headed towards the opposite goal. Though, Fidelio was not really particular about winning every time, was a guy who never accepted the defeat easily. His instinct to win made him immediately run towards the lightning that juss passed him. And saw that, the ball was with Andre Francois. "ohhh, the lightning is u..! " he murmured. Seemingly heard Andre looked at Fidelio with a look that challenged Fidelio. Fidelio tried his best to grab the ball thats been dribbled at Andre's feet. Andre had could read other's mind to a good extent, in any given situation. And he used it at the right time in a right way and juss escaped Fidelio. Andre was fast approaching the goal and hit a shot, the ball flew into the air... and it finally could escape the goalkie as weel, as Fidelio's team had no words to speak out.

Andre looked at Fidelio, though Fidelio was lookin at the ball and his team mates depressed.. And saw the disappointment. But did not give a damn. Suddenly Fidelio looked at Andre, and Andre returned a careless smyle and ran towards their team to join the party... Fidelio noted him. He did notiec Andre.
And the rest of the game was out of interest. There was no place for big scenes. The leading team did not give a chance to look back. Andre's team was dipped in fun. And finally referee asked both the teams to exchange hand shakes. Each of the player shaked hands with each of their opponents. Andre was not lookin at the faces of opponent team memebers. suddenly he felt a notably firm and warm hand shake. Fidelio juss passed Andre. When Andre looked at Fidelio, he returned a freiendly smyle. Andre
looked at him plain, with his one of the eye brows up a little, whose meaning was not clear..

From the next morning, evey thing was back again. The classes started, students started running with books in the morning to classes. Every student was concious about grades atleast to some extent, as each of them have excelled through out their career, and knew clearly also that, it was not a cake walk to get minimum marks with professors excelling their fields and not compromising or lenient. And exams brought students together more than, sports or cultural events. With the exam's tension, folks slowly forgot the boundaries between their peer groups. With the adjusting mentality of Fidelio and his peer group, mixed up with Andre's group as well.

Andre did not conciously feel, there were boundaries between people and groups. To that matter, he never even considered himself belonging to a group or owning friends. He just saw every thing plain and preferred dealing with issues alone. However, Andre always thought on what a friend means. He used to believe the meaning of a friend as "if you have a friend, you should have one whom you can trust in every thing, and you should be ready to give any thing and every thing to him. And you should just consider him as an another self. Though, you might not have right to expect any thing from him. But from past experinece, he was sure, there is no such thing existing in real world, and even if some thing happens and you get sbd like that, time is gonna take away things from you. ... Ah! bullshit, what am I thinking ? would you cut the crap atleast now ? already enuff... there are lot better things in life to worry about(smyling to himself)". Thinking that, Andre was walking alone, on the evening of
that enjoying the nature, which was his best pastime humming to himself a song which had an unknown sadness filled in it. On the same road opposite to Andre, coming was another student who was deeply immersed in his problem that he seems to be sure of coming in exam on the next morning. Andre was enjoying his song to the fullest extent in his typical manner.
He suddenly heard a "hi!", and turned to the student with book in one hand and umbrella in the other, Fidelio. Andre returned "hey". And both moved away. Andre thought to himself "pity, I would have never said hi first, if i had lost like a silly peacock hmmff :) ".

on the next evening, when Andre was with his peer group in the canteen enjoying the jokes and enjoying the sarcams played by each about the ones not present there. After a while, Bill and Fidelio came to join the conversaion. Andre's peer group seemed to know them already well, though Andre barely had an idea of who they were. He atleast knew Fidelio by face, but not Bill at all. As a formal intro, (in which Andre did not believe)

Bill passed his hand to Andre said "Hi Andre, I am Billy".
Andre "Hey Billy." (interesting ppl know my name. I thought, i was..huh)
Fidelio "Hi.. Andre?, I am Fed, ..Fidelio Graziano".
Andre "yea yea, am Andre Gaylord Francois".
Fidelio felt, too many names together !, hmm interesting. there chould be some reason for their parents to have choosen that, nevermind.

Andre had already turned away towards TV put two tables away in the canteen and started watching the football match. Fidelio was suprised to see, Andre's behavior. Fidelio had come from a family which taught him how to be formal and curtious to others. Giggled to himself. Though Andre did not even seem to give a damn, he could read Fidelio's mind nevertheless. And everybody enjoyed the munch, Fid cut and enjoyed a few japes along with Andre, Bill, Ram and others. And as it was time of gaming, everybody started dispersing.. Fid went a few steps and looked back at the interesting character that he has encountered a while ago, and getting more interesting now. Andre had his both the hands in his pants pockets, and sharing some poor jokes with Rach walking slowly away. Fed somehow felt, Andre was not really approachable and as normal as others, though he had hardly talked to him nor heard out him.
Andre n Fid encountered each other again on the football ground on the same day. though, it was not an organized match, everybody was playing in their high spirits. Suddenly a huge folk, running rashly towards Andre, with who the ball was, and collided him unintentionally, making a damage worth dark red card(if something like that existed). Andre flew a little into air and fell 2 feet away. Andre was sure something had definately gone wrong with his leg. Though he did not call for any help, Fed observed Andre being in agony. The huge dude, juss said a 'sorrryy!' and ran away.. Fed came running to Andre and felt there was some thing wrong with the leg. And helped him to reach his room, though Andre tried a few times to walk on his own, he had no other option but to take Fed's help. Doc, checked Andre's condition and suggested, better you stop playing football atleast for a year or two. Andre said
to himself, "damn it, always fate is against me. I was into the game good, and was .......now this ligament gets screwed. damn this ***@*&@ huh! leave it man. life is not fair... Even Ronoldo had been thru all of this ;), so let me call myself Ronoldo when he was not playing..:P. is it Ram's effect ! or what? haha".. Andre cordially thanked Fidelio, for his help who was in the room still the Doc left,
though it didnt sound like so. Fidelio said "no problem, after all what are frenz for", with a wink and a gentle smyle. Andre smyled back. after Fed left the room, Andre closed the door and went to laydown on bed, limping. With the acute pain, he struggled to fall asleep initially, but finally he could.

And in the morning, Andre woke up and thought 'another day, hmm, classes, frenz, breakfast, gamez too many things..' and put his leg on the floor, (forgetting what happened), and collapsed on the floor with immense pain. And was trying to stand up on his only good leg..some how managed to open the door, but sat down again. Fidelio was passing by Andre's room and saw Andre struggling with his fresh hurt. Fidelio came walking swiftly to Andre and helped him... And Andre finished minimal doing before breakfast and came back to his bed with the help of Fidelio. And couldnt ask for Fed's help ne more.

Fidelio, got the breakfast for Andre to his room, and lunch in the after noon and dinner in the night. And Andre was amazed to see Fidelio's unexpected help, and kind heart. Andre wondered 'could I have done that for him?, ofcourse if he had asked, i would have definately, to that matter anybody would, but what made Fid to come by himself and help and leave ..' The next morning by the time he wokeup, Fidelio was reading Andre's newspaper sitting on his chair with legs on the reading table. Andre said "good morning pal". Fid said "hey, u think, its ne worse today" pointing to his leg.
Andre: "haha :) yea its a little better than yesterday"
Fidelio" "No am asking about the other leg"
Andre: "oowh, yea its juss being like u. being bothered because of other leg"
Fidelio: "hey, u say i am ur leg"
Andre: "definately, atleast for the time being... "

both moved together laughing... Andre's hand was around Fid's neck, for support. and both moved slowly out for the day's activities.

Slowly Andre's leg got better day by day. And so did the friendship and understanding between Fidelio and Andre.

Fidelio loved every decision and act of Andre which were to the point, brave and rarely wrong. Fidelio enjoyed Andre's jovial nature and sense of humar. And was amazed at his frankness. Fidelio thought Andre was the best character he had encoutered. Fidelio admired his independant nature, though never encouraged it. Fidelio also admired his logical thinking, and analytical skills which could match
the standards of Fidelio, as Fid felt.

On the other side of the coin, Andre began to admire Fidelio's softnature, which he felt was missing in him. Andre loved Fidelio's altruistic nature. And also found not a bit of egoism in him.

(Andre got the feedback from his peer group that, he was egoistic, he never cared, because he was sure that he was not and it was juss his nature to be alone and independant that made them came to that decision.).

Both began to enjoy each other's company in sharing their views on various subjects.
Fid began encouraging Andre to participate in technical events(making use of analytical and logical abilities) to which Andre never gave a thought. And said, 'if you want to taste mud, do it alone. dont u pull me into it". Fidelio considered Andre was a poor guy, and ofcourse, Andre thought the same about Fidelio.. Fidelio invited Andre to go out for parties. But Andre was a guy who did not like the idea of going out or mixing up with people, though he was not presicely a agoraphobic.

But, Fidelio was not going to go easy on this. Fid came to Andre on an evening said "hey, letz go, its party time. hot chicks and cocktails are waiting there for us, and u r sitting in the room like a goose". Andre was left with no more excuses. And finally, Fid could pull him hard enough to take him to party. And once Andre was in, began to enjoy more than Fidelio. Both enjoyed the party and danced with suitable counterparts of their youth, and drunk and fianlly started to their nests, with one hand of Fid on Andre's shoulder, and one holding the Liquor bottle and Andre's one hand around fid's neck and one in his pocket....

And on the next day, Fidelio came to Andre and said "hey, am really bored. no exams in the near future either. how about going to some movie... let it b ne crappy one. what say".
Andre: "bored, mathametical genious, getting bored ? interesting !"
Fidelio: "u didnt answer me"
Andre: "sorry man. Am not interested, u go ahead.. i dont like the idea of wasting money. ;)"
Fidelio: "I will pay for you bro.... (Andre was smyling),thats not a damn excuse"
Andre : was simply smyling..
Ram came towards these two, who seemed to be quarrelling on something.
Ram said: "hey guyz, anybody movie. hah, cant ask Andy, Fid letz go man, am really bored".
Fidelio: "I would love to come, but have some work man. am really sorry"
Ram: "no worries, carry on, will find some company.. catch ya guyz" and left.
Andre who looked not at all interested in any of the things that were going.
Fidelio: "Andre, i think i will go to lab. am bored, will catch u later"..
Andre was amazed to see Fidelio lying so easily to a guy like Ram. And couldnt still belive how he could change faces so easily. That too to Ram, who was one of the very close buddies of Fid. More than that, Ram was considered Fid to be very trustworthy. Though, Andre did not ask Fid why he did so, as he considered it was none of his business. felt, "who am i to question him, and he has every right
to say foof, as the answer" and kept his mouth shut. And Andre could not dare to take the freedom Fid took without a second thought, out of his defensive nature which was attributed to him from past lessons.

Days passed. Fid excelled in guitar, maths and winning hearts of young ladies and Andre excelled in building frenz, his character and personality. A few envied their frenship. But Andre loved everybody who ever considered him a friend. And always said to himself, more the frenz u have, more the happy u will b... And it continued so, for a few months..

Fidelio never left Andre where ever he went partying, he always pestered and won in getting Andre along with him. Andre always said, "why do u bother to pull me, I am not a guy who enjoys parties n stuff". Fidelio "u r kidding me ? u r the damn idiot who enjoys party the most, and say u dont like it. get up u lazy. And how do you expect me to go without you. you can be happy without me, or to that matter anybody. but i cant b so without your company ?".

Andre with a simple smyle on his face, thinking about the last sentense he spoke, rose from chair reluctantly. And began to think, "Fid is becoming the closest day by day. I am definately loving his company. Though am a guy, who never believed the concept of best fren, seemingly am changing. Am not really sure, why he is enjoying my company, ofcourse many of frenz till now do, to that matter, but what made him enjoy it so much !!". And another memorable day passed their fun filled lives..

Probably the gods began to envy their friendship.
Probably the nature wanted to prove the hard truth that Change is the only thing that can stay

for long.
Probably The complexities of the human brain wanted to show their might.
The things began to change... Muzzy for the good .... or the bad...!!

And the old man suddenly sprang from his posture with relaxing torso and agitation in face, as if some thing stuck him on back. And was in a total dilemma forgotting if he was Fidelio Graziano or Andre Gaylord Francois for a moment, and then quickly recovered to reality. And stood up, and with deep breath followed by a pleasant, tranquil smyle turning into laugh and slowly back to his smyle, with both his hands in pockets moved ahead, towards the woods slowly.....

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

ignorance IS bliss :-|

Definitely understand Switch's mental scramble, when he says.."You know what I realize after all.. Ignorance is bliss" to Agent Smith. I definitely empathize his struggle, if not concur with him. Many people in my life owe me penalities.. for stealing my ignorance away.

A friend of mine had a signature "Its always good to know what you dont know" ! Very unacceptable. I am not sure if i would really like to konw every thing that i dont know(i usually dont care to konw things that are not relly my business, some times ignore the one which do as well). I think i came to know unintentionally things without choice.

When i was a kid enough, not to go to school, I did not know numbers. Could manage gleefully with, 'more' and 'no more'. And when i joined school finally, they taught me numbers.. 1,2,3.. etc. including zero. Already was confusing and was building aversion with numbers as well as their discoveres, for their ubiquitous popularity (Which compelled me not to be ignorant of those, leading to loss of peace). Then appeared the 1st calss teachers to commit more sins. They taught me subtraction, which brought the real *complex*ity. And they said, u cant subtract 2 from 1. gave examples as well (how can u take away 2 apples if u r given 1). Sounded great. (juss bcos i was ignorant that, that was not all the end. and i couldnt live happily-ever-after). That did not last long. the higher calss teacher told, actually we can do so and called them -ve numbers contradicting the lower classes teachings and stealing a little more from my stash of ignorance. Ah ! crap, ok let me belive, i can actually subtract 2 from 1, and for teacher's sake add a '-' before. And then adding to never ending sins, ppl also told me i couldnt do a square root on the -ve number. (who cares!!) ok.. i said. And then they immediately said, i could actually do so adding a 'i' after. Can there be any more crap. And ironically, i ended up liking the sole subject maths!! Ofcourse, that was far from the end...And can anybody contradict me in saying, these all ppl owe me penalties.

And almost in all the cases, whenever i learnt some thing, i only realized once more that i had taken a step away from bliss. However, had not many options to escape from it.. When i was in school, out of my dear ignorance, i used to think, once u complete college life and get a peaceful job, u will have no more worries in life, as thats the best one can ever achieve in his lifetime. And when i finished my b.tech i learnt only that, it was juss the beginning of the life.. can i remain not hating knowledge. Ofcourse, these were the simplest cases of my life, where the crime is picturized.

I honestly dont know what my intention behind writing this post is! juss happened to take place on my blog. :) one lucky post, u may say.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Another peaceful weekend

Juss another calm, solitary, peaceful weekend has passed. Though its hugely deviating from my definition of Great Weekend, it was peaceful(what more should i expect?). Wakeup at around 10 and have breakfast and go to bed and wakeup some time before 2, hold The complete sherlock Holmes, for some time, in one hand and the keyboard on the other(to typeout the words in Wordweb, else can understand only ), and lunch (in masu's fun filled company), and back to room and sleep. And in the evening, go to gym@oracle (a little surprising to me too.. but em chestam). And then back to novel, and slowly slip into sleep. Gradually falling in love with the book. Initially did not actually see it as a Great one, then slowly had to change openion.
The climate is changing. Thanx to Sun god, for drawing back his might for the time being. That was definitely a HOT summer. And also, juss coming out of the delusions, obviously it was not as easy. Still working it out. After all, John Nash had to work hard on it! And was definitely a tough lesson, which taught several severe lessons in many ways. Though,every body wants a lightly going life, u will come across such ones on the way, which can not be ignored, to have a balance in life, i felt. Any how, past is past :). Totally deviated from the actual thought the post wanted to go about. Any how, orkut, blogspot, youtube, wordpress (need not mention, yahoo and google) are taking the bigger seats among my surfing lately. Kudoz to Orkut, bringing back all the school and college frenz. Definitely good to have frenz. more the frenz(right frenz should say) more the fun, right!. Still to get enough motivation to think about GRE, MS etc. denikaina time ravali kada... letz see.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

A lucid evening

When Mr.Hansen, asks John Nash, "Do you still see them?". Nash throws a look by his side and answers, "hmm. yea. I just choose to ignore them.". In reply, Hansen says, "They really haunted u though in the past".

And Nash simply says, "Nobody is haunted by their past, Hansen." Though i can claim i am one of the big fans of the movie, I couldnt really understand the insighful meaning of that.. atleast was not in a position to accept it immediately. And apparently i am realizing its insightfulness today.

Could just finish my quick workout( as i like to call it ;) ), and came to surf a little on net to my cubical. And interestingly, all the things i browsed today, showed me to be more positive, and enjoy the life to the fullest extent, and not to worry too much about any thing. I swear, I have not gone to all of them intentionally... they just happened. And feel, it happened definitely for some reason (sounds dramatic?). Once again realized that, the world is not definitely that bad place to be living. The surfings included, shiben's "Dont hate blog", Osho's philosophy which was again paradoxic(as i felt, or may be am too young to understand it.), Steev Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech(definitely worth watching. And its beyound inspiring.), and another inspiring video (Sunscreen, as it calls itself) every thing was so inspiring and touching. Feel definitely rejuvenated. Kudoz to net! without which, dumboos like me wouldnt have enjoyed as much. I hope, in a mundane vegetative life, such things always leave a mark and refill the spirits high. cool.. leaving home with the satisfaction that, added something good to my never ending education today as well. Actually did not have a right openion(though had, was not convincing i should say) on bloggin, slowly i seem to find a handful of incentives to blog(cant ignore, "you know who!"'s comments ;), apart from the other fillips). Must be leaving now, for it takes 15-20 mins to go by walk from CT to home..

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Blurred Character !

When i heard this... i saw it as another rhyming quote. i couldnt peep much interms of its meaning or its relavence in mundane life...and the quote is the well known this.

If money is lost, nothing is lost.
If health is lost, some thing is lost.
And if character is lost every thing is lost..(long time, my dad told me).

This makes much sense, even if am not a greatly matured guy...

But it brings in its own complications and blurs in its meaning, if i think a little more about it..
obviously i am referring to the last sentence, which in turn might effect the rest of the two.
Character! what actually it means. who defines it ? and what it stands for ! Obviously its a concept worth giving a thought. And my school inculcates a few qulities by teaching a few strong sayings such as "An education which can not build character is worthless".

And I find it a little confusing, if it as a concept related to a society to which the person belongs or not. Say otherwise, i.e. its defined absolutely, irrespective of the socitey the person belongs to. Then i can say that, Character is defined for each individual irrespective of the society. Is that defination the same for everybody ? or varies with person to person ? Even if its same or different for each individual, who decides it. well, say character is some thing that is defined by each individual to himself. i.e. he sets a set of principles to which he determines to cling to forever. It sounds convincing to a good extent, as it involves the concept of self satisfaction and retaining of self identity and also if its otherwise(set by sbd else), then that will be more of regulation-kind than of ethical. Then obviously the concept of Character paradoxic. Because, a characterless guy has lost his character(if you like to say so), in gaining self satisfaction, which infact could have been well in his own set of principles. Infact, from this scinario, hardly anyone can ever be a characterless fellow, because, one always retains his character according to his defination.. So from this definition, even a murderer, a rapist or a prostitute is full of character. And i would rather then give Health a bigger seat than to Character. However one of the hindu myths also supports(doesnt it?) it by saying, all the gods come to a common openion that a butcher(viz. Dharmaveda, if am not wrong), who performs his job to perfection without guilty, and considering it as his worship, is the ideal of human race.

Or say, its defined by a society, then it unmistakably varies from society to society. And say a guy moves from one society to another for a short period. So if he follows his own society's defination, he might well be crossing the defination set by the current society, or vice versa and ending up a characterless person. And to add to its complexity, character is one thing that if lost once, cant be regained. For example, say a guy from orthodoxic indian tradition goes to another extreme culture. Then eating beaf or having alcohol or roaming loosely.. should he treat that society's ppl as being slack ! Since now he is part of that community, he has every right to
participate in defining Character. you might say, well since he originally did not belong to that community, he has no right to impose his views on that community. ok.. Letz say thats right. But then, if he should mixup with the people over there, as if he finds nothing wrong with their actions ? if Yes, then he is committing self-deception, by playing two faces which i feel is the meanest. And if No, then he either has to alienate himself from the present society, or should try to change the society.. (extreme!). If he is alienating himself, i feel the quote which we are referring to itself is hiding some thing remarkable. Because, when he is estranging himself, he is loosing most of the things (may be every thing except for self-satisfaction, which eventually would fade), in trying to retain his character !! And he has no right or responsibility to change the society as they are well with in the constraints and principles (defined by their own). And say as and when a person moves to a society he keeps changing himself to that society's habbits and retain his character according to the second argument. Somehow, it doesnt satisfies me,(despite of the saying, 'Be a roman, when you are in Rome') as then the meaning of Character is more of mechanical than moral and more, he is loosing self identity, which is a byproduct of the concept Character..

Which all boils down to the question if one should have a proper openion, respect and definition(more importantly) towards Character ?

So now, "the splinter in my mind driving me mad" is should one accept a fellow who is
characterless (according to one's definition) ! (And ofcourse, there is an incident which triggered this train of thoughts, which unfortunately can not be publicized. Since, there is another saying which says "if a word crosses lip, its capable of crossing the planet", i keep my mouth absolutely shut (did actually I !?) and worse, it was none of my business even to commen on that. However i felt, there was a great deal to be learnt from.)
And then i convince myself with the answer NO. a simple no. As, i see no point in contradicting my sub-concious mind committig self-deception, accepting somebody else's wrong act(from my perspective) as right(as his frame of reference claims)... I belive, i fail to fine a satisfying point to convince myself otherwise.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Some good SW quotes

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

--Dennis Ritchie
Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable!!
--Ralph Johnson


Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
--Fred Brooks


Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free!!! (so true)
-Steve McConnell Code Complete



If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation.
-Gerald Weinberg

The Six Phases of a Project:

Enthusiasm
Disillusionment
Panic
Search for the Guilty
Punishment of the Innocent
Praise for non-participants


Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?' Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.
--Steve McConnell Code Complete


The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligents are full of doubt.
--Bertrand Russell

Thursday, May 03, 2007

(U/P)G :-?

like to be Travis in 'The rundown'. like to choose the option, only when have no other go, and that too possibly the option i dont have... (when Beck says, option A, u do it. and option B, i make u. Travis answers, aaa.. i would take option C.. :) like that..) And ofcourse, the fate answers the way, Beck did most of the times...

So feel, the time has come to "make a choice" between being a post graduate or remaining a graduate. have absolutely no idea which one is right at this point. but am not really worried which way am going to take. because, am sure will learn some thing for having chosen one and leaving or missing(i should say) the other... my brother himself, suggests me to go for MS some times and warns me not to think about it on some other times. I can understand why he says so.. he juss wants me to be happy always.. And frenz say, they are happy with MS lives, but sound they are actually working their ass off.. which is the worst nightmare i can even dream of.

As always, though i listen and care for others suggestions, the final decision will be mine. So giving a little thought to that these days. My only intension for considering on going abroad is that, i can learn some thing more about the world i have only heard of and have never tasted. in terms of the culture, the ppl dealing with situations, and how they think.. aa, quite weird view.. i know. Atleast as of now, have absolutely no intension of saving or earning. Ofcourse, if am awarded a masters degree and some money in addition, i dont mind taking them too :P

But then there are reasons for thinking about not going for MS. first and foremost reason i should admit is ... i have to give GRE.. no man, i feel am too old to prepare for an exam and then write and crave for recos and then work like hell for 2 years(most likely), and then start 'searching for a job' !!.. hmff, it reminds of the joke in Dil. (kalu meeda kaleskuni batakadam).
feel am a guy whose life style suits more to india(frankly speaking, country-side) than US. recently when i was going to Koti from my room, this thing happened. as usual i was standing with luggage, as i suck at grabbing the seat when others crave for it. And was holding the support bar on the top. ofcourse, many more were holding that too.. And suddenly it came off from the first ring. so all the people holding it got a jerk, n everybody could realize what happened. the first guy looked at the guy next to him and the ppl in the row and threw a smyle. interestingly the second did the same and then the third.. and that made me smyle.. out of curiousity i turned back to check what others behind me were doing.. everybody was smyling.. LOL...actually i continuted the tradition.. And we all pushed the rod right into the ring laughing, despite of the shakes of that 'Erra bus'. we felt triumph. Then i began to wonder suddenly, what is it that you want in life. what truly is satisfaction.. sounds bullcrap doesnt it.. not quite. hmm, still i felt, am going to miss something, which i cant actually picturise, if i fly now. is it really worth that.. i heard most of the ppl feel alienated once they reach there... and i dont see any point going for a life which is that. What am i ultimately achieving out of it, ofcourse the other-me says immediately "exposure", "knowledge" and many big words are there answering .. but i shut him for a while. And have recently encountered the scariest thing in my life, which i believe to some extent, are because of the "exposure" and more "education" than what you need....


however nobody seems to belive me, even myself on my plans on MS. because, i was once in a state that, even a trace of the thought of going for further studies would have killed me. And today, i atleast dont mind considering about considering on doing MS. let me see how Beck answers finally..

Eduta neeve, Yedaloona neeve..

Recently, am stuck with Ilayaraja's music. i am lost in his deep world of music. i was one of those who looked his music as draggy and hopeless. And used to think, it is missing things that a quality music should posess. And always used to ignore comments from fans of Ilaya on Ilaya or AR. and never considered him as a great composer. But the time has changed... am "beginning to believe that" he is The one. ah, simpley heart breaking music. His music mixed with Aatryea's lyrics and SP's voice.. Ahhh, juss the time passes away. And the mood drastically changes. in fact, i am thinking twice before listening to them these days. especially Abhinandana etc. Ofcourse, AR is always there to pull me back into my high spirits. Havent heard too many of Ilaya's compositions yet, still I feel, i am going to end up listening to his music exclusively at some point in life. Unfortunately it seems, Ilaya has almost ceased composing and SP has stopped singing and Aatreya.. ! Hmm, aina manademundi .. i dont mind listening to the same song 100 times non-stop. Trying to gather more info on thier combination.. May be am responding too much to his music or I am crazy (as is likely the case, when i like sth), beginning to think should control my heart beats while listening to it, and not get carried away too much.. :) Else might endup a dead man or atleast endup demented. So summary is hail AR... And listen to Devi sri's mass music more often, to be in ur normal state..

Initial days at "Prophecy"

Things with my employer are going pretty smooth. Way easier than, the way i thought they would. getting an interview call was a sudden surprise. Though my life time goal of getting a call from Morpheus is not fulfilled "yet", atleast could get a call from Oracle. And attending the interviews and getting the offer letter and showing fin*** (as keerthi describes) to prev company, every thing had been great..
however, was not sure, if the quality and/or the quantity of the work might add to my tension, and make me lost in my work-world. But the things in here are cool and the team am into is much more cool. I was interviewed and recruited into a team which had around 20-30 people in CT, hyderabad. The interviewer was the manager of that group and he recruited me to have me in that group, as he felt i was good at c,sql. But in the last minute "some thing" happened and i happen to fall in my current team which has interestingly only 5 people (including my manager). Actually was a little anxious about the team's diversity interms of geographical locations, languages etc. But it turned out to be the team with damn cool ppl. out of 5, 2 are at hyderabad, 2 at bangalore and my manager sitting at Santa Monica , CA.
Apart from technical knowledge, i am finding alot to learn in terms of how to be an effective manager, an effective project lead ! and how to make things work etc. my lead is the best company i've found here. May be because of his presence, every thing else is looking so cool. And their technical skills added to their friendly nature, making me work cooler and better. Their encouraging words and their responsibility grabbing nature is what setting my view, about my current employer, stand apart from my previous emploer, so called Global leader in IT. Apparently, the team is happy with my presence as well. Even the smallest of the things accomplished are priased to a great extent. And the things not done are ignored, saying.. "no worries, that was not expected any way. we will see it later" and the like. only rating at the end of year will show what they actually mean :). Still i juss wanted a life like this. And i sense definately positive openion on my work, which i am happy about.
These things are highly motivating me to stick to way the life is running, and demotivating me to go for further studies. let me see, how the things will go soon. I can never believe my mind, it might ask me to do sth else tomorrow. so making myself ready to takeup any thing.. actually am writing this post, during my work hours... oops, i should be working on RT data migration, forgot. nevermind, dont know how to do that. a fair excuse.. right !

Friday, April 27, 2007

write thoughts out !

Researches on human brain say, man starts thinking philosophically at the age of two. i was surprised to learn that. yes, actually man starts thinking "who am i", "what this world is" and "why am I" after few more years and so on.. And that sets human apart from animals, they say. as the animals dont *seem* to think beyond or even till that at any point.

hmm, but interestingly it sounds too convincing that, not thinking much about life and world, is an easy and good way leading to happiness! atleast in most of the situations. atleast I feel thats true. however, i believe i am one of who think too much about life. and u know, things like "intelligent peopl tend to be unhappy" etc, make me giggle (flattering!! :P)..

though, i see myself having so many thoughts, openions and views on various things, i find some thing stopping my thoughts coming into words. should i think of it as my thoughts being beyond words :D, or my limitations on the knowledge of language ! or is it my education which i feel is incomplete, or is it my introvertic nature that came naturally has influenced me. Writers emerged so, as they are not only creative in their thought processing but, they are damn good at putting it on to page.. ofcourse, i dont aim to be a great writer atleast as of now...
As my lecturer says, "the only way out of a problem is.. by solving it". And i choose that, for now. and have decided to write thoughts out..

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

right or wrong

As rendered by a legend mother to her only son..

When you start on any thing, you find two paths.
one good and one bad.

Bad one invites you cordially to it. it offers irresistable incentives, pleasures and excites you. remember! its just a test. but if you choose that, your path may be smooth, exciting and delightful in the beginning, but the final destination will b of discontent, miserable and u will definitely regret for ur choice...

On the other side of the coin, the good one! never invites you and looks so indifferent and might bring you a feeling that its never going to care for you in anyway, going forward. And it might get you the worst of the difficulties and may let you taste the bitterness of good, in the beginning. Dont u forget!! its just a test. If you go for that, you will win the last smyle..